You'll Always Walk Alone

When you "march to the beat of a different drummer", you march alone. you're often the only one "Looking for the Perfect Beat" (Bambaataa) and you don't even have that fictional drummer by your side that everyone promises you

funny, my father was a "drummer'. not a Loman though. not "Better Off" or worth more Dead than alive.

well hopefully, it won't be that way, finally, down the Streets of Laredo eh? for any of us. but we won't even be alive to see it, sigh

Life, After Death?

seems like most religions and peoples believe in the afterlife, life after death etc, yet the people attempting to go there quicker, by their own ambitions, in other words suicides, are often maligned. their loved ones very often deny it and find every reason other than suicide are often seen as idiots, insane, cowards, lost, etc.

the truth is, what happens after death is unknown, and since humans tend to fear the unknown more than anything else, it is probably the greatest mystery. the truth is that in the hearts of our minds, , as far as anyone really knows, we have one life to live (a soap opera with a philosophical name, who'd have thought it).

and we of course have a primal, instinctual, reflexive, automatic action to preserve our own life, if we ever can't breathe, if someone or something is greatly threatening it, etc.

and as bad as it could be, thru hard times, awful environment, situations, etc, this is the one chance we may we have to have the greatest gift we're given. for without life, we can't have children, achieve, love etc. nothing is possible without life .

"I'm getting old"

i guess im gonna have to get used to it, folks even in their 30s (20s?) saying they feel old etc. maybe because so many of them say, repeatedly:

• "music/comedy/tv etc these days is crap",
• "im gettin old" when they have the slightest ache,
• "it's too hot/cold etc out",
• "when i was a kid movies/bread/candy etc cost a dollar/50 cents/ negative 50 cents" whateva,
• "when i was a kid we didn't have mobile phones" etc. so "you kids have it easy".

did these geniuses ever think that since old farts have been using these platitudes for one billion years, maybe THAT'S why they';re getting so friggin old? which doesn't make sense, you can beat 'em, why join 'em?

Anxiety Drugs Sex Cycle

i know someone (wink) that has massive anxiety. he has to take pills. the anxiety affects his sex performance. so his doctor gives him viagra. however the original anxiety pills affect him by not allowing him to orgasm. like a big aerosol can you shake up but can't spray. long lasting, never releasing. and around it goes.

anxiety, makes him have less sex, increasing anxiety, depression. take pills that fight the depression and anxiety. get intimacy. can't perform first. then can't orgasm. eventually you're a walking sweaty dildo with suppressed emotions.

wear good deodorant and you're superman?

Bullshit Awards (redundant)

• the occurrences of unfairness in awards is huge, and i'll note a few boners:

even the high and mighty Nobels have large omissions. the "losers": Gandhi, Joyce, Chekhov, Strindberg (a Swede no less), Tolstoy, Edison. Nobel himself supposedly hated awards and thought the ones he received were bullshit as well.

• Citizen Kane lost best picture Oscar.


• why such segregation? best actor, actress etc when the skills are exactly the same? it couldn't be to aggrandize double the amount of careers could it?




• the MVP awards in sports for regular seasons mean something to get to the playoffs but are ridiculous to award when the most important games haven't even begun. a player can have great regular season statistics and his team gets in, then he chokes it in the playoffs. do you think that Peyton Manning would rather have regular season MVP or be world champion? actually a hype whore like him probably just wants more endorsements.
  


• who votes for even the most hyped awards? who's on the Nobel committee, are any of them trained physicists, chemists, economists, etc? what the hell is the 'academy'? i think i was in it once , all i had to do was be in S.A.G (look at some of the idiot actors that are in S.A.G), and pay a fee to be in it. and no i didn't ever vote for any of the awards even though i could have for S.A.G.




• now there's more and more award shows because they're popular. and they're required to give awards to certain categories. what if those categories suck for the year? in music, film, tv whatever? they still have to be given.




• Milli Vanilli winning, Scorsese losing consistently.

How Lies become the "Truth"

the expression that something is an "acquired taste". i wonder if that's what the Nazis had in mind when they said that a huge lie, repeated over and over, can become the truth? that lies can grow like cancer until the healthy truth eventually dies?

we should also keep in mind that Hitler supposedly said that he learned propaganda from the Western democracies, not from the Soviets even with Stalin. recent examples:

• "war is peace" rhetoric by Bush and Obama (Obama receiving the Nobel peace prize after increasing troop levels in Afghanistan by tens of thousands, and Bush actually said that the purpose of the Iraq war is peace),
• Bush's Brain (Rove ET AL attacking not the weaknesses of another candidate but their strengths: see Swiftboating),
• CNN saying that the Democrats losing one seat gave them a minority in the Senate (they controlled 59 of 100 seats), also most of the American media playing up the Democrats "losing" everything while having a majority in congress the whole time

Manhattan Bluffs: Upper Manhattan's Spine

i've written about Manhattan island being like a human body (e.g. Central park the lungs, Empire st building the u know what). but one label i never hear is that Manhattan has a sort of spine to it. it actually forms some of the most prominent features of parks in some of the most famous parks in Manhattan.

if you run along Central park along Central park west, you'll see more rock formations sticking up, probably the most in the park, some of the few natural formations of the park. this includes its highest point, Summit rock. i think these formations are all made up of Manhattan schist bedrock that makes up the island.

this continues thru much of the park, then curves (like a spine) a bit west thru Morningside park where there is a big cliff of schist. on top of this schist is where the largest (or second largest) cathedral in the world is, St John the Divine. next it creates bluffs (like cliffs) and levels in several parks heading north: St Nicolas park, north of which is Hamilton heights where he lived last before he was killed by Burr. then Jackie Robinson park, where i exercise and where uphill becomes Sugar Hill where folks like Duke Ellington, Joe Louis, Paul Robeson, Thurgood Marshall lived, and where i live now. then Highbridge park, near where the famous Coogan's bluff is, formerly overlooking the legendary Polo grounds.

im not sure why these continuous rocks, cliffs, bluffs never collectively received a name because they really are prominent from midtown thru uptown and Harlem. and again they offer some interesting features of some very good parks in Manhattan, and were the sites of some famous and historical events. so again my offering for it's name is in the Upper Manhattan Spine.