Weddings: Past versus Recent

PAST: i used to look forward to marriage proposals as the most romantic times

RECENT: i show up even later parties than before to avoid the proposal

PAST: I Would give them as much money as i could afford. not much, but i tried

RECENT: i'll get them those jerky utensils they're registered with. can i re gift? maybe a vcr, pack it in a big dvd box and drop it on the gift table anonymously?

PAST: the bridesmaids were young, and weighed a hell of a lot, each

RECENT: : the groom's sister who had a husband and 2 kids, and the bride's sister who's a nun

PAST: made sure i ate a ton because of my poverty, love of food, rarity of consumption of quality of food, ocd

RECENT: make sure i eat a ton of food because of my poverty, love of food, rarity of consumptions of quality of food, ocd, and in revenge of all the frigging money, gifts and other financial advantages couples have

PAST: looked forward to bridesmaids and single chicks

RECENT: look forward to food and open bar

Suburban TRamp part 1

no, im one of the few NOT going on about Tiger woods haha.

but it used to be that i would live in the city (NYC AND L.A.) and travel to do shows in the suburbs. AND GEt paid.

it's pretty similar still except that i travel to friends in the suburbs and i feel i still do a show. but more like a side show or human zoo.

what happens is that i need to go to their houses etc for birthdays etc. i don't have a car in NYC (appropriately) so i often need to ride the rails or take the bus.

i get there and because im such the "starving artist', and because i don't have a "good wife to feed me", because i usually eat healthy and don't have catered food much, and because i have a massive appetite and my ocd doesn't like me to let food go to waste, i eat a great deal of food there.

also because it's probably the final sense that i can count on: hearing: the conversation is worse and worse (subjects more often now: babies, teachers complaining about their jobs, real estate. fun stuff). sight: kid pics, vacation pics, SOFTBALL TEAM HOME FLICKS (yes this really happened once). and there are less and less available attractive women all the time which brings us to: touch (lack of).

They Think Their Crap is Pumpkin Pie

now i'm sure most of us have had friends, relatives etc who'v had goddamn babies and that's all they talk about, that's every picture they take, their Facebook photo isn't them it's their friggin kids. and believe it or not im not being cynical here: after a while most of these kids started to look very much the same to me in pics, no bs. but of course we have to say "she looks like you". "he looks like your jerk off husband'" etc.

now the title above, it';s pretty much true for parents. and im including parents of pets, especially ones that don't have human kids yet. they'll talk about their kids' shit at meals, casual conversation, stories, explanatories. they'll sniff the kids' crotch to see if they crapped, right next to where the meal is served. the most disgusting material in the everyday world is shit and that's what we fucking talk about!!???

and further: maybe worse than parents of humans is actually the married who can't or haven't had a kid yet but have a goddamn pet. i've heard these champs talk about getting their friggin dog into modeling, or they can't go out with their friends because they can't leave the dog alone, the pooch (I knew one dog for whom i couldn't call it that word(!)) is on every holiday pic with some idiotic antlers on or something.

by the way i got news for ya: every goddamn baby ever doesn't do shit. actually that's almost all the thing does: shit, eat, sleep, burp, cry, get to 2nd base. sounds like me in college haha. .

Double Standards: Adult Women and Men

when we were 'youths", us boys wanted to be athletes, rock stars, astronauts. as we aged, repeatedly we were told to grow up, "be men", i.e dump your dreams, make money, be "'dependable'".

the girls wanted big lavish white weddings with huge flowers, dresses, music, honeymoon etc. how many of them were NOT told: "grow up", "be adults", "it's a waste of money", "be pragmatic", "invest the money", "use it for something much more worthwhile"?

so according to society: men need to be "MEN". women, and society, see it as the RIGHT of chicks to have a big ridiculous lavish weddings. "because it was their dream from when they were a little girl." well it was our dream since we were little boys to be rock stars. but everyone told us to '"grow up" and we for the most part did. .

but men and women are not treated equally by society. it's o.k for a chick to have far flung dreams and get them when she grows up, no matter how wasteful, impractical, short sighted. it's called being a "woman'. but very very often, if a man wants his dreams, his ambitions, his self realization, he's a Peter pan man child. even short term: fancy car, boat, pricey golf clubs etc.

a woman wants a gaudy wedding it's a dream come true. a man wants a gaudy car it's impractical.

Wedding Industrial Racket 3 (am i being clear?haha)

so instead of spending sometimes tens of thousands on a one day affair, let's look at other far more worthwhile entities you can put your money towards:

• house
• car
• kids
• kids' education
• your education (notice this and the house are usually worthwhile investments for the future and not gone in a day. they also don't usually have a 50 percent failure rate)
• charities to reallly help people's lives
• investment in stocks, bonds etc (again an investment), possibly for retirement

now notice i didn't say vacation, another institution which is blown short term and gone.

anyway i think you get my point. maybe it takes the poor, unmarried (redundant?) and bitter to realize it all (sigh)

Wedding Industrial Racket Follow up

so with all the materials that i listed (see Wedding Industrial Racket), do you all see why everyone in America encourages marriage? the clergy, the media, the famous, politicians etc?

because it means jobs, economic growth, spending, capital etc. an enormous entity that lives on it's own now matter how superfluous and outdated, out of control.

do you need to spend that much for photos? it means more money in the system. that much for a blood diamond? more spending.

even though it's a 50 percent failure rate (quite a gamble i mean investment eh? you buy a house it increases in value. a car, it can probably improve your life as far as job choice, earning, transportation etc. a marriage? even the "greatest lover of all time" Rudolph Valentino's marriage ended in a matter of HOURS (look it up).

the Wedding Industrial Racket

• bands and djs


• dresses


• halls


• flowers


• rings (artificially inflated price by monopolistic Debeers S African racket)


• showers


• engagement party


• bachelor/ bachelorette parties


• gifts gifts gifts


• registries


• tuxedos


• 100 dollars+ a plate--


• actually let's really call it now what it is, just as political machines have 100 dollar a plate fund raisers, that's what big weddings are: Fund raisesers for the Married


• honeymoon


• house

• divorce lawyers (half the time)


• separate homes


• alimony