Bigger Bullshit?: Band Breakups or Celeb Marriages

there are at least two deadly  or "til death" rites that groups put themselves though which aren't necessary and probably won't last: marriages, especially celebrity marriages, and famous band breakups. why the hell  are these two events such major  news? how often do celebs marry then divorce in  an average of what, 2 years tops? how many times do bands "break up" only to reunite for that "one last tour"? 


of course it's a lot of  economics. power celebs get together to make power couples to increase their income, gain more notoriety, enhance their careers etc. eventually  they realize how ridiculous marriage is for them: their schedules, traveling, possibilities with infidelities etc, they move one.


 bands break up to again increase their notoriety, increase their sales.   they  reunite several times to give that tour and increase the price that concert goers somehow want to pay, long after the band has reached their peak live. they stay apart until it's lucrative enough to re form. would you be surprised if the whole deal is planned? 


 what the state should do is legalize betting on every detail of  these breaks   like Vegas does for the Super Bowl. you can bet about anything relating to the break ups and band reunites.


 from when,  where the next tour will open,  will they make a lame inconsequential album, how long will they stay together before the "next break up". 


for celebs: will they  "marry" again (usually to other people). did the couple cheat on each other (Hopefully with other celebs), ,who will be their next hook ups, (again hopefully other celebs).


now if we're talking fictional bullshit, again related to death: there's the death of a comic book character. see how long that one lasts (Superman, Captain America, Electra, Green Arrow etc.) again again notoriety, sales, and you know they're not really going to kill off a character that sells. 

My Name Preferences

why is it that when someone has a name with more than 2 syllables, i have to shorten it to 1? and then  some uptight folks  get upset with it:  "it's not Geen, it's Gina!" yikes 


then when someone is commonly referred to in a single syllable name, i have to lengthen it? Gabe --Gabriel, Chris--Chris ol Boy etc


i hate when celebrities have 3 names that we're supposed to say, many times  all first names: Sarah Jessica Parker, Seans Wiliams Scotts, Neil Patrick Harris. 


yet we all know a lot of women who've been married and now go by 3 names, and I kind of like what those have become. my personal favorite (I won't say her name specifically) sounds like Danielle Greeko Apollo. 

Bobby "2 Note" Deniro

as Dorothy Parker said about Katherine Hepburn one night, all he goes all the way from A to B 

Charlie's not buying his sell out 

Living Large in the Village

one lives here? 

used to be that it was an affordable place for up and coming, unknown artists to live, in a starving artist lifestyle,  where they could  express their art. now it's completely non affordable   for all but only the most famous and/or wealthy artists to live an extravagant  lifestyle and sell out more of their celebrity cache  so they can afford it all.   

the Charlie (Sheen) Limbo

art of darkness

i think there's a theory  called  the Peter principle that says that even the most accomplished can fall to their level of inadequacy. for instance, Hitler was brilliant as a politician, but when he tried to take on military leadership, he ultimately failed in a huge way. 


me and a friend noticed that  as far as names go, the phenomenon may be even truer amongst Charlies. it seems  to pop up a lot: 'Charlie in the box' from Rudolph the red nosed reindeer, Charlie x from Star trek, Charlie Chaplin at times (marrying teenagers, trials, expulsion from the US), Charles Barkley at times (spitting on fans, never winning title, saying he'd play for the Klan etc), Charlie Batch (failed NFL qb.) and of course, the once, present and probably future Charles the Infamous, Sheen. 


like i said, they seem to limbo on down to a spectacular  level of infamy. Chaplin was maybe one of the greatest artists of all time. Sheen was the highest paid actor on tv.  but they just tend to do poorly decided  actions that make you say, "what a Charlie!" 

Adult Men WITH Hats

why does tv want us to follow grown men wearing baseball hats--oops

Strip Joint Run ins with Haiti's Future President (wink)

years ago when i started to live in NYC, i was supporting myself for a while in a job at the Flashdancers chain of strip joints, as a men's room attendant. contrary to what you may be thinking now, no, as far as i could tell there wasn't any masturbation in there (not that i would want to know). there was however a lot of cocaine snorted, almost like there was an extra pipe in there that flowed white powder into the stall. 

i worked at one of them down in the Financial district. actually pretty close to the World Trade center before... interesting, a location that;s so "sacred" (not the WTC, which is, but nearby?), yet i think there are 2 nearby titty bars and even worse, Wall street parasites everywhere, yet folks that practice the world's second largest religion are given a hard go.

Wycliffe john and the i think some of the other "Refugees" i suppose  were out looking for some of man's basics of survival,  and our club seemed to be an oasis. keep in mind i was only there a couple times a week tops. at least as an employee (just kidding, no need for a busman's holiday, wink). but  i would see them pretty often. at times  i would talk to Wycliffe when he was pissing, didn't usually do that, hope i didn't bother him too much. not  a big tipper maybe because of that--one time he actually tipped me with a guitar pic. if it was one of them from "Gone til November' maybe i would've been more impressed.


yes i know i should write more of the strip joints later.

the World according to the Entertainment Industry

• most hookers, even in the inner city, are white,
• mothers in sitcoms, no matter how many kids they've had, are milfs
• little boys are cute and funny in sitcoms. in films they and little girls are cute and/or weepy
• teenage daughters are sexy and at odds about dating, undergarments etc with her father (xcuse me, "dad"),
• fathers try to be cool, , hip etc and just look like dorks
• token blacks in sitcoms and films are wise/street smart (reparations)
• more reparations: how many judges do you see in entertainment that are white men? ,
• since the Cosby show everyone lives in the suburbs, no one in the city or heaven forbid, ghettos
• Katherine Hiegl is the queen of chick flicks, a redundancy if there ever was one. Jen Lopez is the "ethnic" chick flick queen. that dude from 300 is becoming the male queen although Paul rudd is up there
• flicks like the Twilight crap is full of cougar chow because seemingly every woman under 50 loves them and the books
• how many chicks who are famous as a girl/teen will at least dress slutty for the media when she "grows up"
• america loves stereotypical italians

THere's No Business Like Show Business

so much crap is topsy turvy when it comes to show business ( i love saying "show business', not 'entertainment' as most say now. when i say 'show business' i feel like some prick old vaudeville star with a cigar, bigotry, a bad suit, hair grease and a membership with the Friars). anyway, examples:

• it's actually the upper class big earners that live in trailers

• the families that are most ambitious in the business push their kids into child labor
  


• often the younger you are (esp chicks), the better your earning potential.
  


• many women who off camera look like boys (which is hot--just kidding), go on camera and look like 'the most beautiful women in the world"

• some of the best acting isn't even acting: one of the greatest moments in film is the end of City Lights, called by Brando and others as some of the best acting. Chaplin himself said he wasn't even acting, he was just living the moment with his co star.

• L.A is considered a city of glitz, glamour, stars etc, yet most of what they churn out in film, tv, food, culture etc is actually targeted to middle america, like a factory to produce for their tastes or lack of. (NYC by contrast is more of international tastes and culture).

and we all look up to it all eh?

Pretentious Celebrity Names

even worse than poseur celebrity mono names like Cher or Sting, are the celebs that force upon us their 3 frigging names that we have to say. they already have more money, bimbos, fame etc than us, but they also have to have more NAMES than all of us and we're supposed to say all 3 or be friggin 'uncool'! .

and notice: most of the time, they're 3 goddamn FIRST names: Phillip Michael Thomas. Sarah Jessica Parker (u'd think it came from a crappy 80s trend, but---) Sean William Scott--or Seann william scott--or fuckit--big surprise everybody still just calls him Stifler. of course i usually exaggerate and go with john William scott john jacob jingleheimer schmidt. hell, his name is my name too