Weddings and Marriage: YOur Loved Ones

as much as i've written against weddings and marriage, ultimately, when  a loved one is going thru with it, i suppose your views don't matter for that time, person etc. 


if ur a good one for them, you put your effort out towards them to make it a special day, the best possible. that's what you're supposed to do.


 and, expect the same in return someday. even if marriage is a light year a way, eh? .


 and enjoy the party too i guess.


 maybe i'm going back on my words but again the day is theirs, not mine, this time.


 though i guess i keep the details to a minimum to keep myself from being too annoyed: e.g. looking at the registries, all the gifts, so many bought already, is a labor. 

Disappearing Act

i've said for a while that a man alone at a bar is maybe as  close to a human gets to  being invisible.

•  seemingly no friends, 
• people see him as a lonesome loser 
• women want to follow, go with the trends, go with a "proven winner", so they avoid him 
• groups will literally push him around., out of his seat etc
• less talking, more drinking, more likely to move to a problem drinker? 

 the only ones who care are  the ones who wants his money: the bartenders/waiters. and this is compounded more at a strip joint. lots of men alone there. 


but,  the older one gets, , the more one disappears? 

•  not as many will hire, entry level etc? 
• less attractive,  less relationships? 
• hence less likely to have kids.
•  less people care: friends and family have moved on with their individual families, parents are getting older and can't care  as much.
•  mid life crises are not as appealing as coming of age stories? 

Poison April, the Cruellest Foolish month

i should get a 9-5 job, something steady, like civil service. plan on becoming married. have 2 kids.  become a Christian. get a house in the suburbs. golf. with my male friends.  drive a car. mow my lawn. 

Ridi, Pagliaccio

Add caption

you're "successful", have "means", read: have  money, you make people laugh, you're witty, urbane, a ladies' man


you're poor, without "means', 'unsucessful', you make people laugh, you're a clown, a joke, a loser 

Saint Patrick's day = Mardi Gras?

Irish genius 

walking in midtown Manhattan today observing the observers, the 2 holidays seem to becoming more similar in practice: 

• practitioners  dressed in beads and other idiotic apparel (beads seem to becoming more popular for St Pats)
• holiday for amateurs, phonies, drinking, yelling, fighting etc
•  carousing along a main street (5th ave in NYC) 
• loud music 
• some good food (even though corn beef/cabbage used to be white trash Irish food)

Daylight Savings Negatives, Positives

not sure how much i like daylight savings because as we know I'm a bit of an astronomical purist, and messing with the clock messes with the system. for instance high noon isn't at 12 during DST, half the year: it's 1:00 since we move the clock ahead. that's even on the highest noon day, the SUmmer solstice.

but i have to admit it is kind of cool on nights (yes, "those Summer Nights") where the sun lasts til after 8 during times like the Solstice. kicks ass.

Mardi Gras=Halloween?

Carnival

i think a lot of us remember when Halloween was a kid holiday, adults didn't do much for it even when it fell on the weekends. eventually it "blossomed"  into a holiday of an adult nite equivalent to Vegas in psychological terms, where "what happens that night, stays in the past",  you go as you aren't, you could dress sluttier as a woman etc. 


i figure that Mardi gras/Fat tu/ Carnival could develop into something like that as well. days, or a night, for adults  to let loose, party like hell,  wear masks, beads whatever. kind of another "amateur night' in mid week like New years.  it's still more local in New Orleans, Rio, but seems to be growing. i remember a few years ago there didn't seem to be anything going on for it in NYC. now there's a list of events. 


also it's several days. you can party on fri, sat, fat tues. again i'm surprised that bars, beer companies etc haven't taken advantage of this more. or neighborhoods like Little Brazils. 

What's Wrong with the Oscars?

American idol

i know i've said some of these before but they deserve to be thrown out there in a gasp of breath against the big wind of the Oscars: 

• many yearly  awards (this goes for many different awards) go to lifetime achievements: they;ll ignore an actor, director etc for their entire achievement filled career (Scorsese, Paul Newman) and finally give her/him a consolation prize some day, for something not nearly on their  level of achievement from years ago
• segregation now, today, forever: there are no differences in skills between actors, actresses etc. notice there's not best female director, best male costumer etc? 
• hype rules: rarely does the less hyped person, film etc lose much. they'll win other awards first, have their "Oscar buzz", win again.. i couldn't believe when Brokeback Mountain lost, one of the few examples to go against the usual rule
• impressionists have won recently a lot. you do a good impression, you get an award. ask Jamie Fox. past trends: whores for women, retarded folk for men, sick folk for women. Holocaust films used to score well too. 
• how many of these 'artists' looking forward to these awards ignore these obvious points which shoot down so much of their (them, the awards, art's)  integrity? 

Super Bowl Predictions

half time music: "Let's get it started" "Tonight's gonna be a good night", 'The time" "Boom boom pow" "Yeah" (Usher), "Welcome to the Jungle".  i always predict half time songs, usually right about at least some of them 


Pitt will cover the spread


my friend's friend Gwen will yap the most about her Super bowl pool (always lots of competition with  that one)


a Bud lite  commercial will elicit the most forced/bad taste  laughter of the nite


i will eat a humongous amount of food (easy pick) 

The Older Pot Calling the YOung Kettle Black

Hugh Gass

older folk are known to complain about "those crazy kids", with their pants hanging low, driving around their crazy cars, listening to that loud rock and roll music. yet: 

• how many of them will pull their pants down in front of anyone just to tuck in their shirts
• how many of them drive the biggest, most powerful old time gas guzzling cars in the world
• when they watch tv how friggin loud is it most of the time (even with those that don't have hearing loss)
• when you go to a casino, how high a percentage of people there are elderly? 

Trendy Exercise Bullshit

doin it right

i love it  because  it's one of those cases where something old is repackaged and marketed, becomes trendy and "everyone has to do it" and spend their money on it. 

• folks danced alone and it  became "aerobics".  a chick dances alone she's called an "interpretive dancer". a man does it he's called  a lonesome loser. 
• stretching is taken over by yoga since it's 'eastern' so it must be better than anything that the West can provide.  ( i think Penn and Teller did a whole show on it). add a probably self proclaimed "guru" and it becomes 'pilots' or  whatever. . 
• combine another "guru", aerobics and some punching and it becomes "tae box bo bovine" whatever. 
• xercise biking somehow became "spinning" and again everyone had to do it. . 

what's next, basketball becomes "hoop throw"? weight training becomes "metal handling"? swimming becomes "aquatic dynamics"? 


even "going to the gym" itself is trendy bs to me. not enough to "xercise", or even "work out".  even though there's plenty of room out- doors to exercise, and all  of these folks "going to the gym" have living spaces a lot bigger than mine do do push ups and crunches in (which often is all they need), but they have to "go to the gym." 


again come out one of my Harlem parks some night in the winter, and we'll do some working out for free:  strength, endurance, stretching. get some fresh air, health, save money. 

Close as I Want to Be to a Prisoner

"that's the sight of the men,..."

working as an emergency snow laborer, the NYC  dept of Sanitation really puts you right in league it seems with chain gangs: 

• we have to wear orange vests while working with tools,  outdoors
• we take buses as trans, to and from labor sites
• we're all local upper Manhattan guys, so ethnically mixed: black, Hispanic, not much white (i have to write another blog post, "places where i've been one of the only 'whites' there"). we separate at times, probably not in a bigoted motivation, into groups:  Latin guys, black guys etc. but again it reminds you of every prison show u'v ever seen:  Latin gangs, black gangs etc. 
• every attractive chick going by seems like the greatest we've ever seen
• sanitation cops (yeah they seem to have them) are in supervision

Jackoff HOusemates Continued

yeah there's nothing like one that's sick and clears his throat constantly all over the living space, and then i have to suck in his shit. living with stupid, cheap  folks is great.  so i'm feeling crappy and can't write much. 

"On Every Block in NY" part 2

so what is on almost every block? well you're asking the right guy because i've been advertising around uptown at least (Upper west and east sides) lately, block by block. 

both neighborhoods: lots of nail /beauty salons, lots of dry cleaning. more laundromats in upper west. 

of course in all of NYCi think, bodegas pretty much every block. convenience, some food, soda, lotto etc. 

one interesting fold: on the Up. W side you'd think that there were as many animals as people (maybe it's a close count), there are so many pet stores: food, accessories, vets etc. huge amount of businesses. 

most likely restaurant, as expected maybe: pizza,  both areas. 

WHy DO YOu Write Holiday Cards?

burn before sending 

 so that  u get them back? you write them only so that you get some sent to you that year?  i do season's greetings to catch up with folks i've lost touch with over the year, folks that have been good to me, etc. not to hang up cards at my home  (many of which are just cards and  not personal messages, updates etc). well i guess it's typical of the holidays: those who end up with the most materials win eh?


of course i hate cards in general. paying some stranger to write some stupid, unfunny, non genuine words with a lame piece of 'art', and substituting this for sentiment to the people you care of the most. and paying for it. 


 but are holiday cards the worst? sending them out of politeness is nice, but  obligatorily, to get return? 

THoughts in the Crapper

the edge of tech

you love how now the toilet paper is encased in a big plastic round deal which makes me think that there's a wheel and a hamster inside it every time i reach in. it would be more efficient if they were there instead of having to reach 270 degrees in


where do you aim as a man when you piss? for the urinal, do you try to wear down the cake? for the toilet, do you do a rim shot, below the rim, or try to make lots of noises and splashes like ur in a kiddie pool? 


you're at a urinal with an automated flusher and a little red eye is watching you to see when you're done. you ever want to get in a  staring contest with it to see if it blinks and rushes you along before you're done? like a contest with the Hal 9000. 


in Cal especially we used to have these no water oil toilets. i kept thinking that we were supplying the vinegar in some gross golden shower dressing.


why do so many bring writing utensils that work to the toilets, yet there are never any at Dmv, the bank etc? 


you're  ever sitting  at an auto flush toilet and it does it's flourish before you're done, like it's saying "move it along! no loitering"

Loser Lamentations: Cold Cuts

 finally tossed out. on to the street.  happened.  cut off


 3rd time during the holidays. tis the season. money matters. "success" matters. the "successful" matter. smarts? no. talent? no. family? no. friend? no. 


Benefit cards. food stamps. cutting lines. stink. his world. 


poverty,  never surrender,;  despair, creation


New York City.  unusually cold.  below freezing.  wind and chill. of course bitter. walking the streets. up town. darker less visible. lots of pet stores, etc. they matter. 


north. west. victories? triumphs? matters? 

Seasons of GIving and THanks

still in love 

im not sure about Thanksgiving being in late NOv, after so many harvest festivals that are in most of the Northern hemisphere,  Aug (Lughnassad), Harvest Moon, etc.

however it's perfect timing with gift giving of the Solstice (Xmas): at Thanksgiving, i begin to think about the year past, who has been nice not naughty, who i should maybe give a token (gift of appreciation) to, and you have a whole month to get it and give it. so good timing.

the Solstice makes sense in biological terms: times of darkness and cold, so  time to get together with folks, joy, gift giving etc. So looking backwards, Thanksgiving in late Nov makes sense.

is that how Lincoln et al decided upon it? don't know. also not sure if there is any history in it being at that time (Pilgrims etc). have a feeling  they did it nearer to more astronomical harvest times mentioned above.

How to Make Women do ANYTHING: Make it "In Style"

this'll look great when she's old

you all know it's true. women will do anything if it's fashionable 

• remember when every one of them wore bell bottoms twice within about a quarter century! 
• now it's trendy  to de- forest your  puss  so much  that they look pre pubescent, which fortunately im into just kidding
• i remember when the only time you'd see or hear the word vagina was in a high school health book, then for a while, starting with that goddamn play that every famous chick had to put herself in,, you heard the friggin word in every sentence! killed the fun out of a highfalutin   dirty talk word
• they'll spend hundreds, thousands! on hand bags, jeans, all sorts of accessories 
• they'll dump a guy they "love" if he isn't keeping up with career, money, even if he can't buy them a nearly invisible non rare rock for her hand
• "ban the fur"  was in fashion, so not as much fur (when too far with banning it down there,  as mentioned above). but who cares about killing  cows, so everyone now has to  wear at least one pair of big leather boots 
• piercing  tongues, eyes,  navels, even clits
• tattoos of who  knows what which'll last forever
• tans that make you look orange and that will age your skin more than anything, literally

but it's all "in style" so you should mindlessly do it like cows to the slaughterhouse (literally) since   some idiot celebrity does it  or because Calvin Klein said so! 

again, they'll do anything trendy. so somehow we have to all conform and make 2 girl heterosexual 3 -somes in style (wink) 

Those that are Most Drawn to Me

the edge of...

 animals, kids, married women


animals and kids (what's the difference/ say the parents haha) actually aren't difference in a lot of ways about what they like.   their judgement is  very simple, yet i think appropriate: if you treat them well, with fun, care, they're drawn to you. treat an animal well with attention, treat a kid well with the same and  fun, they're drawn to you. they're not clouded by your status, income, socio economic level, differences between one another. those criteria are reserved for single women, fair weather friends, some family, assholes. 


now married women have different reasons, which i may have written about before. you see, their main priority when they're single  is taken care of, and no it's  some one to make them laugh or any of that other bullshit. their security is taken care of. their bills are paid. money is there. why do you think that just an engagement (entrance fee) costs 2 months pay  for a small (relatively) , almost invisible, non rare rock?  kids, car house, whatever, pretty much taken care of. that's taken care of.


 so when they're in wed LOCK, TIL DEATH,  that's when those  "likes" come out   that they all throw t around when they're single: , that they like funny guys, artistic guys, smart, whatever, that's when it comes true. 


so with me, the money, security etc isn't there. hence single women won't go near me, and im alone. but  the married women literally appear out of now where to me because their  money's taken care of, and I'm the man they used to talk of: funny, smart, etc. 


that's the way it is, that's the way i've experienced it REPEATEDLY: no one knows it better than me. no one.