Suddenly Every Summer

it always has seemed like I've given myself a good deal of pressure in the summer. when we were kids, the pressure  during the school  year was  with homework, extra curriculars etc. i think my summer pressure was more personal. 

• what's everyone doing the summer? are people doing better stuff than me? the "cooler" kids? chicks? Jews  in  their camps? (boy i just realized how historically offensive that sounds-- but supposedly they had kick ass summer camps in NY). 
• i have all this free time. shouldn't i be using it better? projects? gardening? sports? getting ahead (i didn't think that  ambitiously as a kid, but i did think that my time wasn't being used right)
• aren't there all kinds of places to go to? beaches? (i grew up thinking i hated the beach because many of the ones around NY are crappy.), vacation spots? NYC? 
• my parents are working in the summer. shouldn't i be helping out more? 
• shouldn't i be catching up on more? reading, music, writing? (keep in mind i had  ocd from childhood). 

i guess it's one of those responsibility deals: you have time, supposed opportunities, youth etc and you shouldn't waste, you shoud take advantage. 

Why do so Many Say "I'm Getting Old"?

as I've written before, why join them when you can beat them with attitude, exercise, eating right etc. but they have their "reasons":

• LAZINESS: probably the biggest reason/cop out/excuse: not to exercise, not to go out with friends, not to try new stuff (even if it will benefit them)
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• they want to get old? remember when we were kids, and we looked forward to being older: to be a teenager, or to go to bars, etc. so--

• they want to be more mature? get on with life more? but isn't life short, too short, and we should as much as possible postpone going to to the grave?
• to be more mature and grow up. this reason has some validity: you grow out of stupid actions like drinking too much, staying out too late if it's not for a good reason like getting laid, and you want to get to bed earlier to do more worthwhile actions: earning a living, playing with kids, doing a project early as possible
• they're scared? many adults can deal with kids, less adults can deal with teens, young adults. e.g I've already written about and can write more about the super cliche: "these kids today with their music--that's not music!" and even trying to relate to their ways, dancing, fashion etc, gets to be too much i suppose for those that are getting to be set in their ways. and getting old prematurely?

Anxiety Drugs Sex Cycle

i know someone (wink) that has massive anxiety. he has to take pills. the anxiety affects his sex performance. so his doctor gives him viagra. however the original anxiety pills affect him by not allowing him to orgasm. like a big aerosol can you shake up but can't spray. long lasting, never releasing. and around it goes.

anxiety, makes him have less sex, increasing anxiety, depression. take pills that fight the depression and anxiety. get intimacy. can't perform first. then can't orgasm. eventually you're a walking sweaty dildo with suppressed emotions.

wear good deodorant and you're superman?