New Boy/girlfriend=Touring Beauty Contest

that's pretty much the way it is. you get a new girlfriend/ beau (i love calling them that, sounds like im some antebellum belle), and s/he is taken on tour to meet those close to you: the parents, family, friends, relatives, work friends etc.

they compete, knowingly or not, in a bit of a contest, but like a show on the road that's being seen by local reviewers. and like a beauty contest there are categories: beauty, poise, talent (for conversation etc), congeniality, how they answer questions about world peace whatever.

and from there the judges score it, either with individual judgements or usually conferring: what did you think of him? do we like him? do we hear wedding bells (i.e do we have a winner?)

and the differences of judges are like in the Olympics: their level of criticism ranges from the easy judge (the male friend who never gets laid so therefore welcomes ANY woman to be remotely close to him) to the stringent (the mother who thinks that no one is good enough for her child).

Who Should Get Busted for Indecent Exposure

not chicks who go topless on the beach etc (nice of me eh?), not nursing preggos. but the following 2 groups

• couples that feed each other in public (usually woman to man)
• couples that massage each other in public

why do couples feed each other? after all the shit we hear about pedophilia, child molestors, etc, don't you see that's it's creepy as hell for a grown woman to feed a grown man in some wieird oedipal /mommy coddling nightmare? i once had a girlfriend (believe it or not) get pissed at me because she always wnated to feed me, i always hated it, she said we could never get married because she could n't feed me the cake. and again, another reason not to marry.

and you amater (and i do mean amateur) massueses: massaging in public is like chewing gum in class: do you have enough for everyone? and do you know that massage parlours get raided for prostitution? keep it behind closer doors. if ur doing your little foreplay then you may as well go all the way inf ront of us or else it's just another tease!