My Name Preferences

why is it that when someone has a name with more than 2 syllables, i have to shorten it to 1? and then  some uptight folks  get upset with it:  "it's not Geen, it's Gina!" yikes 


then when someone is commonly referred to in a single syllable name, i have to lengthen it? Gabe --Gabriel, Chris--Chris ol Boy etc


i hate when celebrities have 3 names that we're supposed to say, many times  all first names: Sarah Jessica Parker, Seans Wiliams Scotts, Neil Patrick Harris. 


yet we all know a lot of women who've been married and now go by 3 names, and I kind of like what those have become. my personal favorite (I won't say her name specifically) sounds like Danielle Greeko Apollo. 

Ridi, Pagliaccio

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you're "successful", have "means", read: have  money, you make people laugh, you're witty, urbane, a ladies' man


you're poor, without "means', 'unsucessful', you make people laugh, you're a clown, a joke, a loser 

the Charlie (Sheen) Limbo

art of darkness

i think there's a theory  called  the Peter principle that says that even the most accomplished can fall to their level of inadequacy. for instance, Hitler was brilliant as a politician, but when he tried to take on military leadership, he ultimately failed in a huge way. 


me and a friend noticed that  as far as names go, the phenomenon may be even truer amongst Charlies. it seems  to pop up a lot: 'Charlie in the box' from Rudolph the red nosed reindeer, Charlie x from Star trek, Charlie Chaplin at times (marrying teenagers, trials, expulsion from the US), Charles Barkley at times (spitting on fans, never winning title, saying he'd play for the Klan etc), Charlie Batch (failed NFL qb.) and of course, the once, present and probably future Charles the Infamous, Sheen. 


like i said, they seem to limbo on down to a spectacular  level of infamy. Chaplin was maybe one of the greatest artists of all time. Sheen was the highest paid actor on tv.  but they just tend to do poorly decided  actions that make you say, "what a Charlie!" 

FUndamentalist Hypocrisy (redundant?)

good but not the only book

i love how fundamentalists can use the strictest Biblical beliefs in being against homosexuality,  evolution, and in favor of proselytizing,  yet can use the loosest Biblical interpretations in "proving" that the Bible predicted numerous scientific advances, that a people can slaughter another,  that the "end times" are here

Trendy Exercise Bullshit

doin it right

i love it  because  it's one of those cases where something old is repackaged and marketed, becomes trendy and "everyone has to do it" and spend their money on it. 

• folks danced alone and it  became "aerobics".  a chick dances alone she's called an "interpretive dancer". a man does it he's called  a lonesome loser. 
• stretching is taken over by yoga since it's 'eastern' so it must be better than anything that the West can provide.  ( i think Penn and Teller did a whole show on it). add a probably self proclaimed "guru" and it becomes 'pilots' or  whatever. . 
• combine another "guru", aerobics and some punching and it becomes "tae box bo bovine" whatever. 
• xercise biking somehow became "spinning" and again everyone had to do it. . 

what's next, basketball becomes "hoop throw"? weight training becomes "metal handling"? swimming becomes "aquatic dynamics"? 


even "going to the gym" itself is trendy bs to me. not enough to "xercise", or even "work out".  even though there's plenty of room out- doors to exercise, and all  of these folks "going to the gym" have living spaces a lot bigger than mine do do push ups and crunches in (which often is all they need), but they have to "go to the gym." 


again come out one of my Harlem parks some night in the winter, and we'll do some working out for free:  strength, endurance, stretching. get some fresh air, health, save money. 

Names and Syllables

why is it that when someone's name has just one syllable, i always want to make it longer. like i had a friend Gabe, and I had to call him Gabriel. 


then when someone's name has more than one syllable, I have to shorten it. I even called a girlfriend i had, who's name was Jacqueline (pronounced Jackleen), i had to call her Jaq (Jack). 


don't know why i do it. pretty much every time 

My Wild Irish Name

why do those who know my name turn into the Lucky Charms Leprechaun? 

When You're Right (wing), You're Right!

middle of the road!

when the left protests, they're "unamerican"," unpatriotic", "fanatics"
when the right protests, they're "Americans exercising their freedom of speech", "frugal", "disappointed"


when there was bad news  in the 2000s, it was mainly Bill Clinton's fault
when bad news happens in the 2010s, it's mainly Obama's fault. 
 the right gives something like  AMNESTY  to the Bushes.


when the left want to have universal health care, they're "socialist", "big government"
when the right wants to make  abortion illegal  even for rape victims, they have "family values", "honor the sanctity of life" 


when the left increases taxes for the rich, balances the budget, stay relatively peaceful, govern over prosperity, they're "tax and spend democrats," "weak on foreign policy".
when the right wages 2 endless and illegal wars, lessens taxes for the rich, increase the deficit by unbelievable amounts, increase the amount of poor and uninsured, they're "patriots",  "real Americans", "strong on defense", "fiscally responsible" (!!!). 


and Republicans are going  to win seats back this Nov? 

"Slurs" in the Right Context

gay ol' time

im  someone who likes to write and hates  to have any words  limited. no word should be totally  off limits since any word can be used in not a mean spirited way, in the right context. examples: 

• Niggas Wid Attitudes
• Guinea t = wife beater (2nd probably more offensive)
• "we;re here, we're queer..."
• National Association for the Advancement of Colored People,
• "Jew ' is one of those words that can really change meaning depending on context, emphasis: "he's celebrating Rosh Shoshana since he's a Jew"---o.k. but: "we had a lot of brandy left, but the  Jew drank it all up". not nice. keep in mind that even Shakespeare used that one in a very negative way, see Merchant of Venice. 
• of course in my neighborhood of Harlem guys use the word "nigger'" all the time, as slang, describe each other etc. again, not as a put down. and no i don't agree that only those in the ethnic group can use it--yes, that's discrimination. 
• of course words for females can be used as put downs or badges of honor depending on how you use them etc: "that bitch!" (the 3rd person negative). "the bitch is back!", the 1st person declarative,  a more up to date "i am woman hear me harp"

Are YOu a Whore?

the very definition of a whore is some one who's with some one else because he has money. he may be  a dick, not good looking, boring, old, but he has money and you stay. you're a whore.  if you're with someone because of his money (including, assets, cars, house, etc), you're a whore.

and you're not with anyone else who doesn't have money.  if you're not with some one else because they have no money, but let's say has everything else, humor, intellect, looks etc, you're again a whore.

by the way, that includes, very much so, first dates. and someone who can't afford to pay for you. and some one who can't afford to pay your bills. your house, your kids, your 100 shoes, your rings blings.

you want equal pay, equal rights? then you gotta grow the fuck up. we're always told to '"be a man'";   until you really act like an adult,  you don't deserve equal treatment.  you can't have it both ways.

but then, you'll find some john eventually to pay your way and be "happy'" with right?

Doublespeak, Bigotry in Lower Manhattan

law for all groups

"Away from sacred ground" =Not In My Back Yard. a  sacred ground with strip joints (as i mentioned i used to work at one),  Wall street sociopaths, and a pre WTC  mosque 4 blocks away


. so let's send the  new Muslim center  to parts of Staten island, California, Tennessee, Wisconsin. just not the parts of those states that have protested against having the second biggest religion in history worship in peace. 

"Compromise" =Discrimination against a religious group. compromise means holding them to different standards than other legal groups, religious or otherwise. anti First amendment. (im sure their god forbids any treading on the 2nd amendment!) treat them differently because they're different (than American Christian white hegemony). 


Opportunistic and Hypocritical Politician: "It's disrespectful, offensive" etc. . real meaning: im using this political football to score political points. usually the same politicians that bitch constantly about big overreaching  government. 

Real Deal: Marriage Definitions

battle royal (wedding)

let's grow up, lose the naivete, admit what really happens so much of the time

celebrity marriage=: business partnerships. you know they'll usually break up in an AVERAGE  of  a couple of years, but in the mean time, the power couple gets  more press, parts, money, etc,  which is the most concrete  production of their coupling. .

weddings=fund raisers. know i said  this one already but what are  the difference between political fund raisers where you pay up to hundreds per meal, to politicians, and giving couples wedding showers, engagement parties, bachelor parties, weddings etc

marriage=wed LOCK. notice more letters in the second word. notice the word automatically gives feelings of imprisonment. TIL DEATH. and even beyond: SOUL MATE.

weddings=personal fiefdoms: like personal kingdoms: mom and dad as the passing  royalty, , divine right to the couple, then a whole hierarchy around them: upper class=the wedding party, relatives are the distant royals, other guests are the bourgeoisie, etc.

Overrun by Pussy and a Bitch

have to take care of the bitch a lot. big black bitch.  go out  with her, pick up her crap, bondage, discipline, bitch likes to eat and drink, bitch lies around a lot,  heavy petting, not too much on the nips. bitch usually follows me everywhere like a shadow. but  bitch ran away today, but bitch always comes  back. likes to sniff around a lot. bitch gets around the block.  i ignored the bitch to punish her.

pussy comes and pussy goes. black pussy. white pussy. pussy needs to be petted some times, hunger  satisfied  sometimes, go out some times, talk some times, wet some times. place is some times crawling with pussy. not sure where pussy goes  a lot of the time. pussy all over the neighborhood. some pussy is never around  but they all seem to like heavy petting some times too. pussy even likes to follow me around some times, folks cant believe it.

so if u didn't know, yeah im pet sitting this week: 2 dogs, 1 female, big and black, and 2 cats, one black one white..

More Unique Irish/ Dunmore Expressions

 we just had a visit from my mother's sister. as I've mentioned it's the only time that my mother has really laughs as far as i know, since their cousin died especially.  as i expected, a lot of old stories, sayings etc came out so i wrote down many. some examples: 

• stump jumper: hick, one who lives '"up the line" (other side of the tracks). interestingly, my grandfather worked for decades in the coal mines, and called my father a stump jumper, although he was the son of a dentist. 
• "20 miles of bad road": some one with a bad complexion, with pimples, pock marks  etc.
• "going  to New York": getting  pregnant. one of the challenges of these sayings is finding out where the hell they came from, their derivation. guess that's a further project
• "fell off the roof"; getting your period (women obviously). 
• "map of Ireland written all over his face": very Irish looking. 
• do your "job": to crap.  when i was young, my mother used to ask if  i had a job to do. so when i got older and heard people desperate for jobs, wanting jobs, looking for jobs etc i thought it was hilarious. . i thought a job was a piece of shit, literally

as was said before, as you can see some of the above  seem to be Irish in flavor, some more local/folk i suppose. again really want them to be captured before they're gone--no one seem to use them anywhere. 

Double Standards: Po' Folk, and the rest

• when po' folks have books, magazines etc collected, they're called pack rats, obsessive compulsive, queer
• when the middle class and up have the same stuff and it's leather bound, it's called a library
• 
  
• when the poor speak up and ask for a fair share or defend their neighborhood, lives, health etc, they're whiny, complaining, welfare seekers
• when everyone else does it, they're assertive, politically astute
• 
  
• if a European hyped up to be an "artist" splashes paint on a wall of your neighborhood, it's public art
• if an inner city teen does it, he/she is a gang banger and it's an eyesore, urban blight
• 
  
• if you're drinking one can of beer on your way home on the subway after a long day on the job, you're a criminal in opposition to the "broken windows'" anti crime policy
• if you're an alcoholic on the suburban trains drinking beer that they sell you AT THE TRAINS, and you're going home to, say, beat your family, you're still probably seen as hardworking, dedicated family man

Ranting Questions

do certain places have to have the ladies' and men's rooms so far apart? and it always seems like the women's is easier to find, right there, obvious. then men's is on some other floor, or tucked behind the coat check, or way down the hall

does every "woman" under 60 love Twilight and Sex and the City, and believe in astrology?

if a business counter has both a tip jar and a "take a penny leave a penny", can't we just combine the 2? , but isn't that pretty much the guys on the streets panhandling and saying "spare some change?"

shouldn't bars just all have sections for people to take Face book photos?

why do hurricanes and tropical storms have names? blizzards don't, they're called "the blizzard of 1908" or whatever. i don't even want to know the name of my goddamn waiter why would i want to know the name of one of nature's deadliest forces?

Unique Language, Mom

a bunch of vocabulary my mother says regularly, i've rarely heard anyone else say:

• all heads of hair are called "curls", except if you have stringy hair, then it's "streelyas"--i wrote it phonetically because i don't know if it's a real word.
• 
  
• if you have some money to spend, you're a "Butter and Egg man" (a slang term that goes back to the 20s)
• if something's out of date: "that went out with high button shoes"
• she loves to call living things "bold" if they're being a little cocky, like a demanding cat is "bold". but if you misbehave then you're often "wicked'". like Blue jays: "o they're so wicked!"
• i've written before about her use of the word pussy. see blog: Words Change Meaning
• if someone's tone deaf: '"can't carry a tune in a bucket"
• someone talks too much: "could talk a dog off a meat wagon"
• if a female is a "poor soul" (also used often), she's often called "Ella Cinders'" instead of Cinderella
• if a female is strutting around like the bitch is back, she's called "Lizzy Jit"
• if someone's walking around quietly, almost sneaking around: "creeper mouse"

Ghetto Speak

certain ghettos and slums (yes there's a difference) have pretty names yet they've been some of the most notorious neighborhoods in our cities: Cabrini green. Highland park in L.A. where i used to live. Inglewood. Echo park. guess they're trying to raise those property values somehow. the most notorious in L.A. tried to shake their reputation by changing their name: from South central L.A, to South L.A (!).

THEN There are those areas that sound inner city but add a "ville" or a "manor" to their name and somehow become these upscale suburbs: "BronxVILLE". "Pelham MANOR." and even "Bronxville MANOR".

like i said i lived in a pretty strong ghetto area with big gang presence. lived in a pretty basic apartment complex but it actually was named: the "Shadow Oaks'" because of a big oak in front where the squirrels ran amok. they tried to be like NYC, where you don't just live in a snobby sounding neighborhood like the "Upper West Side," but you live in a snobby sounding building like the "Dakota", the "Beresford", the "Century".

anyway in a neighborhood like mine with so many gangs and gang graffiti tags, you would often see buildings with names like mine, then underneath the name would be a gang tag. so it was almost this weird subtitle system we had going, because my neighborhood was in America of course, but it had a strong majority of Spanish speakers so much of the neighborhood had bi lingual signage and language, then there was the gang subtitle which probably read something like "Avenues' turf" (one of the big gangs), or "Crip's country'" or whatever.

kind of gives new meaning: when we were in high school we would paint on the walls of the field "Eagle Country" for our teams. now i think that i was tougher than i knew in school as i was really gang tagging haha.

Words Change Meanings: Pussy

one of the interesting deals about language is that it's ever changing. also one of the tricky parts. of course it's one of the most obvious ways to see the generation gap.

for instance we used to have a cat named Muff. now this was back when the usual meaning for that word was the fur like crap you warm ur hands with, and i don't think it was so common for it to mean a woman's privates.

speaking of women's privates, i think years ago it wasn't as common to call them 'pussy.'

but one thing i know, when i was reaching puberty, my mother would yell outside, in broad day light, in the middle of the neighborhood for the cat: "Muff!! Pussy!! Muff! Come pussy!!" and if it was raining and the cat came running she would yell, "o look at this wet pussy!" needless to say i was a bit embarrassed by the yelling of my mother who's career was as a librarian.

Irish/ Scranton: Dying Language

my parents are from a very Irish area of Pennsylvania, near Scranton, coal mining area, Depression era. in fact my great grandfather was one of the many miners who was injured back then, which led to the formation of american first aid instruction.

there are words, language, ways of speaking that i've heard from my parents, especially my mother, which i've never heard since. i think it was a development of Irish idioms, saying etc mixed with the time and Americana Pennsylvania. want to write about this more in the future before it dies out but here's a taste:

• if you're busy going in and out the door, you're "in and out like fiddler's elbow." i think it's an Irish saying, once Malacy Mccourt (Frank's brother, an actor) said it to me
• something that's extremely black is "black as hell's waistcoat"
• many pronouns have "-self" attached: "and here's himself!" "where's himself?" "well if it isn't herself in all her glory!" the second one above is one of the first lines in what's been called one of the great plays of history, Playboy of the Western World, Synge

like i said just a taste for the holiday.