Why I Prefer to Eat at Home, Alone, part 1

one of few times, wish i was in army

it's really an activity that i very much prefer to do alone. i don't understand the social aspect: you're eating. your mouth is occupied. why the hell should i talk? much less entertain as some want me to do? and going on a rendezvous (my fancy name for the queer word "date"): forget it! i don't want her seeing me not know how to eat French (food that is, haha). 


 it's actually one of the very few times that i don't even  enjoy reading: that shows you how much i want to chill out when i eat. 


but believe it or not i love to eat at restuarants (alone): love sitting, relaxing, the possbilit of a good big meal etc. but it realy is a crappy deal: meal mark ups are so big, so many meals i've had i felt that  i could  buy the materials  in the stoer for much cehaper, , work on them  a little and it would  be compaarable. and im no sharp cook.  plus the burden's on you to tip or you look cheap and the waiter earns minimum wage or less, which really isn't your fault but it's dumped  on you. 


also health-wise: who  knows how many calories/fat/salt etc are iny the food. even NYC doesn't require them to publish it on the menus. plus i usually overstuff myself,  and then  need to sh--t where i eat at times (shout, haha). 


again at home: private, your own time, could be much healthier and cheaper, you can do whatever the hell you want, with who you want. 

the "Successful": Mountains out of Molehills

Cream soda kicks ass

 and by successful I'm talking of those who society sees as successful: money, steady career, house, kids, car. all that bullshit. 


now you would think that they have more responsibilities, less time  than those without those deals. at least many of them make themselves out to be more  important than us, "too busy", etc. somewhat understandable when they have say, kids. 


and  i thought I'm the type that would think more about the minutiae of life: e.g. I've written a lot about bathrooms, dying  languages, hype. but the following are some of the subjects that the "successful" have made a pointed  effort to bring up with  me, disagree an usually criticise   me openly and in public, make sure they make it clear how much of a freak i am: (some of these I've written about before i think) 

• how weird i was bringing grape and cream soda to a party
• how their dog/girlfriend/both need to be called by her full Christan name like Jehovah himself. or if i call her by that name, then i need to call her by her nickname that "everyone", or every asshole,  says. 
• they never seem to  understand why i keep the menu during the whole meal (i like to make sure of my order, i  like to see what's in the meal in an upscale place, like to keep my options open for desert etc.)
•  me taking food home. guess they can't understand that  i don't eat too large too often,. so i like to take what i don't have. and i hate to waste--ocd. 
• i don't conform to their bullshit tastes on the fucking  Yankees, the flicks they like etc
• i don't like to sing songs i don't like, like Happy birthday (otherwise no one's as dedicated as me during birthdays, but that's rarely noted). i abstained from that song  long before Curb Your Enthusiasm. 

as usual, the opinions, likes, mainstream tastes, mainstream mores, habits, overshadow those of the solitary, careerless, poor, city dweller. again, fuck you

Conform: Even when YOu're Right, YOu're Wrong

I've unfortunately  found that, when I've hung out with old friends, the more you deviate from their "norm", or "normalcy" the more wrong you are, about pretty much everything. and not even the more "unique" shit that i do which i admit. e.g. when i would read end credits in films, enjoy fall foliage, astronomy, all activities I've done for years, was ridiculed for, the same people that would criticise me would do the same and enjoy it, and NEVER give me credit. hopefully after all these big birthdays are over (ones that end in 0s) i can leave them forever.

one time i went of one of their little get togethers. they told me i didn't have to bring anything. so i got a little creative (blasphemy!) and brought grape and creme soda. later on they almost had an intervention telling me how wrong i was. led by, surprise, the biggest fool of them all.

a friend of mine brought his little woman along to another party,same place. he told me, more than once, her name. somehow everyone else knew she went by some nickname. i called her by her name. i was wrong. everybody laughed. i was right, but was completely wrong.

also, most of us go by shortened names: Jonathan--Jon, Christine--Chris, Sally--Sal. but i have to call my friend's fiance now by her FULL GIVEN NAME. like she's Jehovah (of course, my friend, her and her family think that they all are any way, like most couples that get a house, married, kids etc).  even though she doesn't seem bothered by the short one, like everyone in the world. and im in the wedding party--looking forward to that. 

we're not kids by the way we're grown men. making enormous mountains out of molehills. leave me the fuck alone. why does this bullshit happen? familiarity breeds that much contempt?

the Appetizer: What Chicks Really Want

chick laugh

o.k, time to tell you all how it really is. not what chicks say   in some idiotic women's, men's, celeb mag. not what your female friends say.  notice i said "say", not do. this is about how chicks actually behave. the following is  what not many have the courage to say. and no one, NO ONE  knows the following experiences better than me.

actually it is true, some of them,  at some times in their lives,   will often go with funny guys, like they all say. a Freudian id, instinctual. but as i said, this is just the appetizer: there's a more complete, uncut film,  a whole deal,  as  would be  experienced in   a several course  meal.

with an appetizer, first course, like when the chick's young and budding, the id is  strong and she'll often  go with Mr giggles. personally,  I've made a LOT of women laugh a lot in my life, so   yes many a chick i grew up with did take  a taste from the KRock pot (had to say it, but true, and no i didn't smoke weed).. fun times. times change....

Suddenly Every Summer

it always has seemed like I've given myself a good deal of pressure in the summer. when we were kids, the pressure  during the school  year was  with homework, extra curriculars etc. i think my summer pressure was more personal. 

• what's everyone doing the summer? are people doing better stuff than me? the "cooler" kids? chicks? Jews  in  their camps? (boy i just realized how historically offensive that sounds-- but supposedly they had kick ass summer camps in NY). 
• i have all this free time. shouldn't i be using it better? projects? gardening? sports? getting ahead (i didn't think that  ambitiously as a kid, but i did think that my time wasn't being used right)
• aren't there all kinds of places to go to? beaches? (i grew up thinking i hated the beach because many of the ones around NY are crappy.), vacation spots? NYC? 
• my parents are working in the summer. shouldn't i be helping out more? 
• shouldn't i be catching up on more? reading, music, writing? (keep in mind i had  ocd from childhood). 

i guess it's one of those responsibility deals: you have time, supposed opportunities, youth etc and you shouldn't waste, you shoud take advantage. 

More Unique Irish/ Dunmore Expressions

 we just had a visit from my mother's sister. as I've mentioned it's the only time that my mother has really laughs as far as i know, since their cousin died especially.  as i expected, a lot of old stories, sayings etc came out so i wrote down many. some examples: 

• stump jumper: hick, one who lives '"up the line" (other side of the tracks). interestingly, my grandfather worked for decades in the coal mines, and called my father a stump jumper, although he was the son of a dentist. 
• "20 miles of bad road": some one with a bad complexion, with pimples, pock marks  etc.
• "going  to New York": getting  pregnant. one of the challenges of these sayings is finding out where the hell they came from, their derivation. guess that's a further project
• "fell off the roof"; getting your period (women obviously). 
• "map of Ireland written all over his face": very Irish looking. 
• do your "job": to crap.  when i was young, my mother used to ask if  i had a job to do. so when i got older and heard people desperate for jobs, wanting jobs, looking for jobs etc i thought it was hilarious. . i thought a job was a piece of shit, literally

as was said before, as you can see some of the above  seem to be Irish in flavor, some more local/folk i suppose. again really want them to be captured before they're gone--no one seem to use them anywhere. 

WOman of the HOuse

have a woman run a house that she probably hasn't paid for and she'll think she's Zeus himself

Why Procrastinate

procrastination gets such a bad rap.  it's the thief of time, don't put off today... etc. you never hear about  when it's positive that we put off:  

• eating. late at night. fast,  slim down, let that piece of pizza sit and enjoy it  tomorrow, avoid that indigestion etc.
• spending money. let that money sit in it's mutual fund/IRA/savings, accumulating interest. don't  spend on some crap like a new car. 
• wine. that great bottle, vintage-- let it sit, age, save it for a great moment like the birth of your kid. 
• compost. let it sit, rot, break down, become gorgeous fertilizer for next season/year
• orgasm. keep pace for a while and delay  hers/his/yours/theirs (yikes)  for a nice big nuclear bomb(s)  later
• suicide. let's see what happens this summer. let's wait for dad to finish his busy time of year. let see what happens with that application. 

although i guess there;s a  saying,  good things come to those who wait

To the Past Darkly: Summer 1999

this Summer in NYC is on track to i think be one of the hottest in recorded history (after last year was one of the coolest, wettest). it brings back ugly memories of the summer of 1999 in NYC for me.

me and my roommate in spring had moved out from our apartment that had a roommate that went nuts: started yelling, cursing, crying, i called the cops on her.

• we found a nice place in Astoria Queens, but we found it thru a broker, i was in debt and was penniless. had several jobs: men's room attendant in swanky club, and went into a job that seems perfect for me but was and is a nightmare:
• tour guide job with a company that was eventually kicked out of the city. we had buses that caught on fire, drivers that were parolees that hated me because i didn't get tipped much ( i gave good tours, but didn't push customers to tip), no a.c. of course, , a comp;any that didn't give a shit about anything besides raking in money
• July was the hottest month on record in NYC, may still be, averaged in the high 80s, many days going into 100. almost never rained.
• i was such an environmentalist, and somewhat ignorant,, in that i thought that using a fan was a huge user of electricity, so i would broil in our place with no a.c or fan for most of the time, and the place was brick and we were up stairs.
• it was the last summer of my 20s and i was so busy earning all of $9 an hour, especially on weekends, i never got time off to go to the beach or anything. every chick i met was stuck up (surprise in NYC haha). .
• my roommate's parents came to stay with us for at least a week, maybe 2. no spare bedroom. examples of their annoying habits: the father would fart regularly, . the mother would answer the phone and give it to me when i told her i wasn't available. so 2 weeks, i was broke, and these folks came and lived there for free.

i hate to draw parallels between that summer and this one but at least some has improved. bu the heat, the cost of living for a struggling artist, maybe you can see why i quit a new job as a tour guide. actually the job is even worse in some ways.

What to Do in TIme

one deal i hate about time marching on, is that an obsessive compulsive like me always thinks there's more to be done, "i missed it", i'll never have the chance again, etc.

but in trying to work "with" time i try to stick with the natural time periods (days, seasons, years), not the man made (hours, weeks, Jan to DEC calendar)

• by the day: to reach my goals, become my fullest man etc, there are a few important activities i like to be done daily. not too many, but they take effort: reading up on the news (world and local, and local is New York city, which is a world unto itself), exercise every other day (hard core, some heavy weights, cardio vascular, outdoors in all weather, etc), voice (speaking well, stretching my singing to the limits: pitch, volume, timbre), "career": this blog brilliance haha, trying to advance in the arts is extremely difficult of course etc
• by the season: lots every season, e.g: spring: outdoors, blooms, parks, love (wink) etc; summer: beach, outdoors, friends, family;, fall: foliage, nights, etc; winter: snow, activities, holidays.
• year: more my year (between birthdays) not artificial calendar year: writing, progress, physical achievements (not getting any younger), career etc.

of course this doesn't mention special days, birthdays, holidays etc. hell weeks at job etc. rough weather seasons. sickness.

so lots of pressure i suppose. to get much done in time. have done much but always seems like more of course. and always so many reminders (not even mentioning the man made ones) that time moves on always.

Hate the Hype: My Real Deal

now if u'v been following my tirades, you know that i don't have much of a long fuse for hype (short for hyperbole of course, hence, inappropriate, over-done, gushy, etc).

but from my experience, it's almost unfair to the person being hyped: they may be a totally different person in reality (not reality tv, also bullshit). actually i've met some hyped performers on film sets especially and most of them seem pretty nice, mellow, hard working.

now the ones who are being arrested, going bankrupt, doing too many drugs, etc: you wonder if a big part of their problems is that they believe the hype

so it's all the bullshit that surrounds them that i suppose i hate. all the media attention, idiot fans, people paying hard earned money for these folks. i've always had a short fuse for ignorance as well and i suppose that hype is another ugly form of it. .

Why: June Sunniest, July Hottest

the Solstice happens in June (im talking about the northern hemisphere of course, for southern, reverse the facts). so June is the sunniest month, the one with the most sun light. but on average, July is the hottest in most of the hemisphere.

the reason is that it takes the Earth some time to be heated. so temperatures lag by some time. so we get the most sunlight in June (because the Earth is tilted most towards the Sun at the time), heats up the Earth, then hottest month in July.

as i've mentioned before, the phenomenon can be witnesses daily: high noon is at 12 or 1 (daylight savings), yet again it takes some time for the Earth to heat up, so the hottest time of the day is a couple hours later. happens almost every day, barring storms etc. .

How to Soothe Your Sunburn

now when i was young and ignorant (redundant) i did get some bad sunburns, being fair skinned, etc. so a couple of basic practices took care of it afterwards. i still get them accidentally at times so i do the same, they still go pretty well.

• cool down with a nice cold shower, cold towel etc. give it a good hose down/wipe etc. NO SOAP-- you can get an allergic skin reaction as i got once.
• then apply liberally a nice thick coat of lotion. preferably with aloe in it.
• do that periodically, when you need to, when you feel warm etc.

it'll turn into a nice tan actually, usually. of course i think sun bathing for a tan etc is one of those idiot youth get it while you can when you';re a young hot chick so you can snag a man and be taken care of deals, because there's nothing that ages your skin worse than the Sun.

there' also stuff that you can use that i've read: pat your skin with a tea bag, yogurt, apple cider vinegar etc. but the main point of water and cool, then lotion to keep hydrated, goes very well.

What Chicks Really Want: to Follow

and im not just talking about the stupid fashions many follow, the stupid magazines, big hair in the 80s (want to get a mass amount of women to do what you want? get something to go "in style". it could be lesbianism, thongs, big belt buckles, whatever, and they'll do it as long as it's "IN style".

but another example: usually when i go on my little tourist trips, walk along Central park, etc, i do it alone, which is preferable in many ways because i can do whatever the hell i want. usually everyone avoids me like some weirdo/pedophile/park pervert or something.

today i had a woman come with me on my adventures. and surprise: women came more to me. a blonde Danish foreign exchange student, a girl who i think wanted model shots of herself.

"all the good ones are taken" right? chicks don't want to eat in an empty restaurant right/? the married are more attractive?

Real Deal: Sun Protection

try not to listen to the fear mongering media (redundant?), the medical profession hypochondria, journalists trying to sell magazines (unlike me, im just trying to sell a blog! haha). take the words of some one who is fair skinned (we are always fair or white, never pale or pasty) and who lived in the desert for over a year:

• buy cheapo SPF 15 lotion. that's all i did. from a dollar store. you don't need spf 2000 bullshit
• 
  
• at the beginning of Sun exposure, rub it all over the exposed areas. all of them: ears, cleavage, feet, etc.
• 
  
• unless you're going swimming or something, after which you of course re apply, ur done.

that's it. that's all i did for over 2 years. and i never got sunburn, again living in the middle of the Mojave, no trees, no a/c so we were outside all the time, often sitting and moving in high noon.