Ignorance: NY versus Iowa

SMELL: now i was in Iowa at the time when times were pretty tough in NYC, there was a good amount of pissing at the subways etc. so the city had a national reputation of reek. but i don't think any of the city stink compared to Iowa: the state had and maybe still has about 350 percent more pigs than humans. so even in a pretty sophisticated university town like Iowa city, the pig shit smell at times was overpowering. i was actually there at around the time that Mad Max Beyond Thunder dome came out, where Thunder dome was literally powered by pig crap. wonder if it was the same deal in Iowa.

HICKS: everyone in NY would put me down for going to Iowa: it would be loaded with Midwestern hillbillies, corn fields, blah blah bullshit. . the geniuses ripping on me? mainly teenagers that were going to upstate NY schools in metropolises like Fredonia, Oneonta, Oswego. "half a horse towns" as my brother would say.

CULTURE SHOCK: other super brains would tell me what a culture shock it would be going to Iowa. bullshit. it was Midwestern, maybe on-average more laid back, but not a big jolt. the shock actually was always when i went back to NY: the urban life, city cultures, the guidos in my home town. always kind of surprised me more when i came back. must be why so many idiots in America love shit like Jersey shore. for the record, i liked Iowa, but prefer it in NY.

What She Really Looks Like

now we all know that she looks different the morning after, and just by coincidence, there just happens to be a pill named in conjunction with this phenomenon. but there's a way to go before that time. and why not get some recognisance, see if she's really as fine as she's painted?

• fire alarms. this one's hard to come by obviously, but isn't it worth calling in a false alarm and risking arrest? (grin). in college i went to one of those huge midwest universities with huge dorms. we would have fire alarms in the mid of the night all the time. maybe it was people screwing in some chicks' room, knocking over the candle, setting fire to the potpourri or something. and you would see these 18 year old WASPY chicks who liked to deck themselves up with tanning, too much makeup, bleach. but at that bed time hour it was like ghosts emerging from the catacombs. . . now i can see why Mae West would sleep with full makeup. which brings us to:
• see them after their jobs. especially if they work at some chick joint: Hooters, strippers. see them without their wigs, in baggy warm ups, not much makeup, heels off. i used to work in strip joints. some of them were unrecognizable at the end of the shift.
• laundry day: you know they're washing their best push up bras, hottest tops, spanks, tights, girdles, whatever. no heels, what do they look like in their baggy old sweats, over sized t shirts, sneakers, baseball hats.
• walking the dog/getting the paper/coffee/bagels/etc: the gossip mags seem to be great at this: getting these glam gods out walking in the living day lights again in similar outfits to above

Purpose of Life?

the question: should you take full advantage of your talents, as much as possible? recognize them, and use them to the fullest? even if you can't earn much from them (da Vinci himself didn't earn much money from his varied talents, including invention, architecture, medicine), you take the time and efforts with the talents?

or is it to help your fellow man, people, Earth as much as possible? to sacrifice yourself to help the greater good more, help people, teach, volunteer, help save the Earth?

or is it to enjoy yourself as much as possible, hedonistic, maybe, but enjoy, travel, pleasurable comforts, as much leisure time as possible, with as many loved ones as possible, the finer things: food, sex, music, etc?

or to live above humanity, spiritual, supra man (Heller, Yossarian, Catch 22), try to divine yourself towards your higher power, sacrifice yourself for that?

super deep stuff i know, but feel it should be out there, for myself at least.

Fair Weather Fans~Ugly American Fans

I've noticed that they're many times the same people. examples:

• an old "friend" of mine who liked the Cowboys, Islanders, Lakers when they were good, dumped them all when they were bad. favorite baseball team, surprise, the Yankees. said the Olympics didn't mean much, put down soccer all the time
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• another someone close to me at times, a gym teacher and coach no less, who rips everyone else for being fake fans, yet his favorite golfers are Jack Nicklaus and Tiger Woods, favorite baseball team the Yankees, dumped the Cowboys, Rangers, Knicks, Giants when they were bad. also thinks soccer is a non sport
• the American fans that put down soccer fans for their hooliganism, rioting etc. guess they see the bad in other nations and only the good in ours (right wing methodology?): see the riots after the Chicago Bull victories, Laker victories, Michigan State sports, to name just a few

by the way, the American fans that put down soccer, do they realize that baseball is the "national pastime"? a game where you barely run, you rarely jump, not really a contact sport, scoring is often low, most of the action is between 2 grown men having a catch?

for the record, i actually enjoy all the above mentioned sports, honest

the Summer Solstice

what actually happens at the Solstice is that the northern tropic, Cancer, is directly lined up with the Sun. it's the northernmost that the sun is directly in line with the earth, which is why there's tropics. so maximum Sun in the northern hemisphere (all this of course is the opposite in the south).

the "beginning of Summer" belief is pretty much bs: warmest days start begin. June thru begin. of Sept on average. peak in July since the Earth takes a little time to be heated up. this can be observed daily: highest Sun is at noon, but it takes a couple of hours for the Earth to be heated, so usually hottest time of day is a couple hours past noon.

so a good time of course to enjoy the Sun and Earth, but also to give thanks, maybe even energy and a little sacrifice (of your time and effort at least) for all that they provide, life, and all parts of which humans survive. giving us nature, vegetation, feed etc. not to mention enjoyment, other health (e.g sunlight stimulating vitamins within us), the mental and physical light of day. a great great entity unto itself.

Irish Parents Beyond Good and Evil? part 2

so i mentioned some of the enjoyments of my parents, like cemeteries, obituaries, wakes. now to the critical mass.

as i wrote before, my mother rarely laughs (outside of the company of her sister), and when she does she looks and sounds like she's in pain.

now personally I've made a LOT of people laugh a LOT in my life. the number of times i think that I've made her genuinely laugh out loud? once i think. and it was when my father was talking about taking his pills and he sounded like a convicted Nazi slipping himself a cyanide capsule. yes a joke comparing her husband to the Nazis was the one joke that i've created that really made her laugh.

now my father isn't' immune either. again he can take an awful situation and make light of it, then take a usually Happy subject and see the black lining.

perfect example: one of the rare times I've had a girlfriend was a couple years ago. he got wind of it from me and my aunt. around the same time, my sister in law was in a small car accident. so he wrote to me an e mail talking about both the accident and the girlfriend.

so how did he begin the subject of the car accident? "interesting news!" and he went on to tell the story like they found money that fell off a truck, when actually there was a small injury involved. now how did he begin the subject of the "love of my life": "so we heard about this girlfriend. i can't tell you how concerned i am....what if you get her pregnant! what if she's already pregnant! you'll get no help from us mister!" etc. so in review: car accident: interesting! girlfriend: gotterdammerung!

Double Standards: Po' Folk, and the rest

• when po' folks have books, magazines etc collected, they're called pack rats, obsessive compulsive, queer
• when the middle class and up have the same stuff and it's leather bound, it's called a library
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• when the poor speak up and ask for a fair share or defend their neighborhood, lives, health etc, they're whiny, complaining, welfare seekers
• when everyone else does it, they're assertive, politically astute
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• if a European hyped up to be an "artist" splashes paint on a wall of your neighborhood, it's public art
• if an inner city teen does it, he/she is a gang banger and it's an eyesore, urban blight
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• if you're drinking one can of beer on your way home on the subway after a long day on the job, you're a criminal in opposition to the "broken windows'" anti crime policy
• if you're an alcoholic on the suburban trains drinking beer that they sell you AT THE TRAINS, and you're going home to, say, beat your family, you're still probably seen as hardworking, dedicated family man

Why do so Many Say "I'm Getting Old"?

as I've written before, why join them when you can beat them with attitude, exercise, eating right etc. but they have their "reasons":

• LAZINESS: probably the biggest reason/cop out/excuse: not to exercise, not to go out with friends, not to try new stuff (even if it will benefit them)
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• they want to get old? remember when we were kids, and we looked forward to being older: to be a teenager, or to go to bars, etc. so--

• they want to be more mature? get on with life more? but isn't life short, too short, and we should as much as possible postpone going to to the grave?
• to be more mature and grow up. this reason has some validity: you grow out of stupid actions like drinking too much, staying out too late if it's not for a good reason like getting laid, and you want to get to bed earlier to do more worthwhile actions: earning a living, playing with kids, doing a project early as possible
• they're scared? many adults can deal with kids, less adults can deal with teens, young adults. e.g I've already written about and can write more about the super cliche: "these kids today with their music--that's not music!" and even trying to relate to their ways, dancing, fashion etc, gets to be too much i suppose for those that are getting to be set in their ways. and getting old prematurely?

Irish Parents Beyond Good and Evil?

as I've said, my family seems to have maybe an Irish way about them where some of the worst tragedies for most folks in life are enjoyed, and often the enjoyments that most folks have in life are analyzed, critically. and my parents wonder why I'M a critic often.

so as for the good times: wakes: we seem like the only people to admit to enjoying them. and not just stereotypical Irish ones with drinking, singing, dancing. but almost all wakes, because let's face it, as we age it's the most likely place to have a face to face reunion. our family would come back from one and say in truth "we had a good time". of course it's all appropriate: my namesake itself is most famous in Joyce's Finnegans Wake, a name taken from a comic Irish song about having a good crack (Irish lingo: good time) at Finnegan's wake. by the way my friends used to think i was inappropriate at wakes but then they would have a blast. and of course never give me credit for being right.

my mother goes further: in getting the NY Times, the first section she would always go to: obituaries. and she wasn't looking for rent controlled apartments in Manhattan. she was actually ahead of the trend: she was enjoying the concise biography before the late 90s when they were so in vogue: Behind the Music, A and E Biography, E true Hollywood story. she also loved a good cemetery like at Sleepy hollow.

so the good stuff: wakes, obituaries, cemeteries. next, the bad stuff: girlfriends, comedy, personal enjoyment

How to Be Invisible

easier than you may think. first you have to be male.

next go into a bar, club etc.

go alone. the less people you have with you the more you look like a loser

so you're alone. male. in a bar. congratulations: you're invisible. only person to talk with you probably is the bartender/waitress who wants your money. since you're alone and there's a good chance you drove, you shouldn't drink much. so not as much point in being in a bar.

and no one will care of you. good chance you'll be pushed aside, looked over, marginalized. good test: go to a booth. let's say the place is crowded. if folks need to sit there, let them.. see how much you get pushed aside so they have their space.

by contrast: you're female (not necessarily attractive), in a bar, alone, no money. see how much you get approached, asked if you want a free drink. i had a female roommate, disgusting, never exercised (barely walked, honestly), rat face, didn't bathe much, cheap fuck (goes with the territory of most women). the few times we went to clubs she was approached a lot more than i ever was when alone at a bar.

and attractive women are RARELY alone in bars. life isn't the fucking flicks. a lonely woman is more vulnerable and the pack often will approach more.

More Definitions

TAGers: much worse than when the gang bangers usually get this title: Typical American Greed. oil companies getting tax breaks. sociopath banks and financial institutions like Goldman Sachs getting bailed out by the government. face facts all: America is not a true democracy, it's a plutocracy in many ways.

POE awards: not for mystery writing, but Process Of Elimination Awards: e.g. Super Bowl MVPS usually going to the quarterbacks like when Peyton Manning won. also:

A.A. meetings: Automatic Awards. knee jerk picks. like the 1996 NBA finals when the Rodman played brilliantly, Mr Jordan played well but not outstanding (at least for his standards, like in 1992), yet media baby Jordan gets the MVP, "bad boy" Rodman misses. kind of like when they would pass over him for the all star games, or when a knee jerk off like Karl Malone is rated higher than him when Rodman would consistently outplay him in the most important games of his life

Ranting Questions

do certain places have to have the ladies' and men's rooms so far apart? and it always seems like the women's is easier to find, right there, obvious. then men's is on some other floor, or tucked behind the coat check, or way down the hall

does every "woman" under 60 love Twilight and Sex and the City, and believe in astrology?

if a business counter has both a tip jar and a "take a penny leave a penny", can't we just combine the 2? , but isn't that pretty much the guys on the streets panhandling and saying "spare some change?"

shouldn't bars just all have sections for people to take Face book photos?

why do hurricanes and tropical storms have names? blizzards don't, they're called "the blizzard of 1908" or whatever. i don't even want to know the name of my goddamn waiter why would i want to know the name of one of nature's deadliest forces?

Why do they Die: Memorial Day

i would like to thank the soldiers who protect our country as well. but how much of it is protection, how much other reasons:

• 370,000 of them maybe permanently deployed to over 150 nations, mostly in rich ones like Germany and Japan
• a military industrial complex worth the defense budgets of the next 20 nations combined
• empire building
• spending so much on a war on terror when other nations don't, and we haven't even found bin Laden
• illegal wars, and war profiteering
• increasing our nation's deficit when the war was to "pay for itself"
• killing more Americans than were killed on Sept 11 in waging a war under false pretenses
• killing tens of thousands more innocents than were killed Sept 11
• increasing anti American sentiment world wide and increasing anger, self defense, insurgency against us