THoughts in the Crapper

the edge of tech

you love how now the toilet paper is encased in a big plastic round deal which makes me think that there's a wheel and a hamster inside it every time i reach in. it would be more efficient if they were there instead of having to reach 270 degrees in


where do you aim as a man when you piss? for the urinal, do you try to wear down the cake? for the toilet, do you do a rim shot, below the rim, or try to make lots of noises and splashes like ur in a kiddie pool? 


you're at a urinal with an automated flusher and a little red eye is watching you to see when you're done. you ever want to get in a  staring contest with it to see if it blinks and rushes you along before you're done? like a contest with the Hal 9000. 


in Cal especially we used to have these no water oil toilets. i kept thinking that we were supplying the vinegar in some gross golden shower dressing.


why do so many bring writing utensils that work to the toilets, yet there are never any at Dmv, the bank etc? 


you're  ever sitting  at an auto flush toilet and it does it's flourish before you're done, like it's saying "move it along! no loitering"