You'll Always Walk Alone

When you "march to the beat of a different drummer", you march alone. you're often the only one "Looking for the Perfect Beat" (Bambaataa) and you don't even have that fictional drummer by your side that everyone promises you

funny, my father was a "drummer'. not a Loman though. not "Better Off" or worth more Dead than alive.

well hopefully, it won't be that way, finally, down the Streets of Laredo eh? for any of us. but we won't even be alive to see it, sigh

Life, After Death?

seems like most religions and peoples believe in the afterlife, life after death etc, yet the people attempting to go there quicker, by their own ambitions, in other words suicides, are often maligned. their loved ones very often deny it and find every reason other than suicide are often seen as idiots, insane, cowards, lost, etc.

the truth is, what happens after death is unknown, and since humans tend to fear the unknown more than anything else, it is probably the greatest mystery. the truth is that in the hearts of our minds, , as far as anyone really knows, we have one life to live (a soap opera with a philosophical name, who'd have thought it).

and we of course have a primal, instinctual, reflexive, automatic action to preserve our own life, if we ever can't breathe, if someone or something is greatly threatening it, etc.

and as bad as it could be, thru hard times, awful environment, situations, etc, this is the one chance we may we have to have the greatest gift we're given. for without life, we can't have children, achieve, love etc. nothing is possible without life .

"I'm getting old"

i guess im gonna have to get used to it, folks even in their 30s (20s?) saying they feel old etc. maybe because so many of them say, repeatedly:

• "music/comedy/tv etc these days is crap",
• "im gettin old" when they have the slightest ache,
• "it's too hot/cold etc out",
• "when i was a kid movies/bread/candy etc cost a dollar/50 cents/ negative 50 cents" whateva,
• "when i was a kid we didn't have mobile phones" etc. so "you kids have it easy".

did these geniuses ever think that since old farts have been using these platitudes for one billion years, maybe THAT'S why they';re getting so friggin old? which doesn't make sense, you can beat 'em, why join 'em?

Anxiety Drugs Sex Cycle

i know someone (wink) that has massive anxiety. he has to take pills. the anxiety affects his sex performance. so his doctor gives him viagra. however the original anxiety pills affect him by not allowing him to orgasm. like a big aerosol can you shake up but can't spray. long lasting, never releasing. and around it goes.

anxiety, makes him have less sex, increasing anxiety, depression. take pills that fight the depression and anxiety. get intimacy. can't perform first. then can't orgasm. eventually you're a walking sweaty dildo with suppressed emotions.

wear good deodorant and you're superman?

Bullshit Awards (redundant)

• the occurrences of unfairness in awards is huge, and i'll note a few boners:

even the high and mighty Nobels have large omissions. the "losers": Gandhi, Joyce, Chekhov, Strindberg (a Swede no less), Tolstoy, Edison. Nobel himself supposedly hated awards and thought the ones he received were bullshit as well.

• Citizen Kane lost best picture Oscar.


• why such segregation? best actor, actress etc when the skills are exactly the same? it couldn't be to aggrandize double the amount of careers could it?




• the MVP awards in sports for regular seasons mean something to get to the playoffs but are ridiculous to award when the most important games haven't even begun. a player can have great regular season statistics and his team gets in, then he chokes it in the playoffs. do you think that Peyton Manning would rather have regular season MVP or be world champion? actually a hype whore like him probably just wants more endorsements.
  


• who votes for even the most hyped awards? who's on the Nobel committee, are any of them trained physicists, chemists, economists, etc? what the hell is the 'academy'? i think i was in it once , all i had to do was be in S.A.G (look at some of the idiot actors that are in S.A.G), and pay a fee to be in it. and no i didn't ever vote for any of the awards even though i could have for S.A.G.




• now there's more and more award shows because they're popular. and they're required to give awards to certain categories. what if those categories suck for the year? in music, film, tv whatever? they still have to be given.




• Milli Vanilli winning, Scorsese losing consistently.